Caregiver Tea Time with Donna Hemingway

Let's Get it Together with Journaling

Episode Summary

Donna Hemingway, 4-time former caregiver, is the creator and host of Caregiver Tea Time. In this episode she shares about Journaling and two methods she’s used over the years, “Morning Pages” and “Neurocycles”.

Episode Notes

In this episode Donna shares that research studies have found journaling brings emotional and psychological benefits. Her most consistent Journaling was inspired by Julia Cameron and her book The Artist’s Way. From this book, Donna learned how to write Morning Pages. 

There was a time when it was difficult for Donna to journal. She found Dr. Caroline Leaf’s book Switch on your Brain  and its introduction to “Neurocycles” helpful to add structure to her journaling.

Donna shares a conversation with a young girl named Beatrice she met while journaling one morning at the Ronald Mc Donald house. Beatrice had learned the importance of journaling and wanted to share the message with the world. Donna is so happy to finally be sharing that message with the world in this podcast!

Donna ends her podcast with the cheer: “Here’s to the good things!”

Episode Transcription

 I  can't  believe  I'm  at  the  end  of  season  one  of  caregiver  tea  time.  I'd  have  to  say  recording  this  podcast  has  had  its  emotional  ups  and  downs, but  in  a  totally  good  way.  

I've  reached  into  my  Emotional  Support  Toolbox,  and  I  found  my  tools  were  a  bit  rusty.  But  I'm  so  glad  I  could  bring  them  out,

clean  them  up,  and  share  them  with  you.  

So  now  for  my  final  tool  of  the  season,  journaling.  I'm  going  to  share  with  you  a  couple  of  methods  that  I've  used  over  the  years.

[Music] 

When  I  journal,  I  like  to  use  a  pen  or  pencil  and  paper.

For  me,  there's  something  special  about  writing  versus  typing.  But  it's  important  for  you  to  do  what  feels  best  for  you.  

Years  ago,  I  was  part  of  a  research  study  to  determine  if  journaling  reduced  stress  levels  in  caregivers.

I  remember  spitting  in  this  little  tube  so  that  they  could  measure  the  cortisol  levels  in  my  saliva.  

The  assignment  was  to  journal  for  20  minutes  a  day  for  30  days, and  then  they  measured  the  stress  hormone  levels  before  and  after.  Well,  I  never  learned  the  results  of  this  study,  but  several  other  studies  have  shown  that  journaling  about  your  thoughts  and  feelings  brings  emotional  and  psychological  benefits.

I  started  journaling  long  before  I  was  a  caregiver.  In  preparation  for  this  episode,  I  tracked  down  a  box  of  my  old  journals.  I  was  surprised  to  find  a  travel  journal  from  1984.

I  had  decorated  a  small  spiral  notebook  by  gluing  a  pretty  piece  of  fabric  on  the  front.  Well,  today  there  are  so  many  journals  to  choose  from.  I  think  I  could  do  a  tapping  session  about  that!

Well,  this  little  journal  started  when  my  future  husband  and  I  took  off  on  a  two -week  cross -country  trip  from  Iowa  City  to  New  York  City.  Our  goal  was  to  meet  each  other's  friends  and  family  along  the  way.

A  few  days  into  the  trip,  I  fell  in  love  with  this  young  man.  I  wrote,  "I'm  having  a  wonderful  time,  and  I  think  Paul  is  the  neatest  person  I've  ever  met."

The  word  "wonderful"  was  underlined.  Well,  this  trip  determined  the  trajectory  of  my  future,  and  I  thought  of  it  often  when  I  was  living  in  New  York  City  many  years  later.

My  most  consistent  journaling  was  inspired  by  Julia  Cameron  and  her  book,  The  Artist's  Way.  I  found  this  book  at  a  garage  sale.  The  Artist's Way  is  a  12 -week  course  to  inspire  artists.

But  what  I  liked  about  it  the  most  was  that  it  introduced  me  to  something  called  "morning  pages." Morning  pages  allow  you  to  clear  your  mind  so  that  you  can  bring  your  attention  to  what's  coming  next  in  your  day.

It's  like  dumping  all  the  stuff  bouncing  around  your  head  to  make  way  for  constructive  and  creative  thinking.  I  have  the  fondest  memory  of  doing  morning  pages  at  our  old  farmhouse.

I  sat  at  a  cherry  wood  desk  in  front  of  a  big  window  with  a  beautiful  view  of  the  color  changes  in  the  sky  as  the  sun  came  up.  I  used  unlined  copy  paper  and  a  blue  ink  pen.

And  when  I  finished  filling  up  three  pages,  I  put  them  in  a  large  envelope  and  then  I  put  that  envelope  in  the  drawer  and  I  floated  off  to  start  my  day.

The  thing  about  morning  pages  is  that  you  don't  have  to  ever  go  back  and  read  them  again.  They've  done  their  job  and  served  their  purpose  as  you  write.  I  was  the  most  consistent  about  doing  morning  pages  when  the  night  before  I  I  opened  the  desk  and  set  out  sheets  of  paper  along  with  my  favorite  pen.

I  would  fall  asleep  with  the  intention  of  getting  up,  making  my  cup  of  tea,  and  writing  those  three  pages  before  doing  anything  else. 

 I  also  remember  a  time  when  it  was  difficult  for  me  to  journal.

I  felt  overwhelmed  and  my  mind  felt  blank.  It  was  almost  like  my  brain  had  turned  off.  One  day,  at  a  local  cafe,  I  found  an  interesting  self -help  book  on  one  of  those  swiveling  displays.

It  was  called  "Switch  On  Your  Brain"  by  Dr.  Caroline  Leaf.  Well,  it  sounded  like  something  to  try,  so  I  brought  the  book  home.  I  learned  that  Dr.  Leaf  is  a  neuroscientist  and  she  developed  a  process  called  the  NeuroCycle.

She  studied  the  brain  extensively  in  order  to  help  people  get  to  the  root  of  their  toxic  thinking  in  order  to  transform  their  thoughts  into  healthy  ones.  Well,  that  sounded  good  to  me.

And  at  that  time,  Neurocycling  gave  structure  to  my  journaling.  Here's  a  brief  overview  of  the  Neurocycle.  It  has  five  steps.  

Number  one, gather  your  awareness  of  a  toxic  thought.  

Number  two,  reflect  on  it.  

Number  three,  write  about  it.  

Number  four,  reread  what  you've  written  and  edit  to  summarize.

Number  five,  create  a  statement  or  action  to  help  you  throughout  the  day.  

Well,  this  is  a  very  simplified  explanation,  but  Dr.  Leaf has  created  an  app  called  NeuroCycle  that  walks  you  through  the  details.

I  like  the  description  she  gave  of  step  one.  Pretend  you're  behind  a  camera  in  a  big  sports  arena  searching  the  audience  for  one  person  to  focus  on  and  put  their  face  on  the  Jumbotron.

But  instead  of  being  a  person  you're  looking  for,  it's  a  toxic  thought.  You're  searching  your  brain  to  find  one  you  want  to  change  and  you  want  to  put  it  up  on  a  jumbotron  so  you  can  get  a  closer  look  at  it.

Well,  your  toxic  thought  might  be  something  about  your  relationships  or  your  finances  or  maybe  your  health,  whatever  is  forefront  in  your  mind.  An  example  is,  "my  relationships  are  a  mess!"

And  after  reflecting  on  it,  you  write  about  your  behaviors  related  to  that  thought.  It  might  be  something  like,  "I  can't  tell  people  how  I  feel."  After  you  have  reread  and  edited  what  you've  written,

you  could  decide  on  an  action  you  can  take.  And  that  might  be,  "I'm  going  to  tell  someone  how  I  feel  today."  And  it  can  be  something  simple  like,

"I  feel  like  my  allergies  are  acting  up,"  or  telling  a  friend  that  you  like  their  shirt.  It  doesn't  have  to  be  life -changing,  but  you  keep  working  on  it.  I  think  the  NeuroCycle process  has  been  very  helpful  for  me.  

I  was  doing  NeuroCycles  when  my  son  and  I  stayed  at  the  Ronald  McDonald  House  for  his  treatment.  And  I  want  to  share  one  of  my  memories  from  journaling  there.

I  usually  woke  up  before  my  son  and  I  would  go  downstairs  to  an  empty  dining  room  in  the  early  morning  hours.  I  like  to  sit  at  the  table  next  to  this  large  poster  with  a  picture  of  a  beach.

It  was  filled  with  colorful  beach  umbrellas  and  blankets  and  a  bright  blue  ocean  with  white  foamy  waves  that  were  washing  up  on  the  shore.  I  would  FaceTime  my  friends  from  there.

I'd  send  a  text  that  I  was  heading  to  the  beach  and  I  would  give  them  a  call.  This  is  also  where  I  would  journal  and  spend  time  alone.  

This  particular  morning, I  had  been  sitting  at  the  table  for  a  while,  writing  and  sipping  my  tea.  A  pretty  young  girl  with  dark  hair  and  pale  skin  came  into  the  room  with  her  mother.  The  little  girl  stopped  at  my  table.

"Are  you  journaling?"  she  asked.  I  told  her,  "Well,  yes  I  am,  and  I  try  to  do  it  every  morning."  I  found  out  her  name  was  Beatrice  and  she  was  nine  years  old.  "That's  wonderful,"  she  said.

"It's  good  to  write  down  your  mistakes  and  let  them  go.  Just  send  them  to  the  Book  of  Mysteries,"  she  said.  "Journaling  is  important.  We  need  to  spread  the  word." 

I  was  so  touched  by  what  she  said  and  her  sincerity  and  I'll  never  forget  it.

So  well,  Beatrice,  I'm  Spreading  the  Word!  

As  always,  you  can  find  links  to  more  information  about  these  journaling  methods  at  Caregiverteatime.com.

I'm  amazed  to  find  that  we're  at  the  end  of  Season  1,  Let's  get  it  together!  

Over  these  four  episodes,  I've  shared  my  experiences  with  emotional  brain  training,

emotional  freedom  technique,  cognitive  behavior  therapy,  and  journaling.  I'm  looking  forward  to  working  on  season  two.  It  will  be  called  "Let's  Get  Physical,"  and  I'll  talk  about  eating,

breathing,  sleeping,  and  staying  active.  

And  speaking  of  staying  active,  have  you  ever  seen  someone  walking  with  two  walking  poles?  I  was  recently  hiking  with  a  friend  who  told  me  they  make  her  feel  more  secure  so  she  can  look  up  instead  of  looking  at  her  feet  as  she  walks  along  the  trail.

As  I  thought  about  it,  I  realized  that  this  is  what  I  wanted  the  Tools  of  Season  1  to  be  like  for  you,  Walking  Poles.  Tools  that  support  you  so  that  you  don't  have  to  be  looking  down  to  feel  safe.

You  can  look  up  and  enjoy  the  good  things  along  the  way.  Which  brings  me  to  our  cheer.  

Let's  raise  our  cups  and  say,  "Here's  to  the  good  things."  

One, two,  three.  "Here's  to  the  good  things!"  Cheers!  

 

Nothing  but  the  good  things  in  this  world  living  in  my  heart  Nothing  but  the  good  things,

nothing  but  the  good  things  In  this  world  living  in  my  heart  Living  in  my  heart  "Living  in  my  heart"  

Caregiver  Tea Time  was  recorded  at  The  Koop  Studio,

Irvington,  New  York,  engineered  by  Sammy  Wags  and  produced  by  Bianca  Grooves.