Val Halloway, 4-time former caregiver, is the creator and host of Caregiver Tea Time. In this episode, she shares about her spiritual mentors. These are people who have walked along side her on her journey or someone who has inspired her with their writings. She shares about five authors: CS Lewis, Richard Foster, Maryanne Williamson, David Hawkins, and David Brooks.
Val shares about people who have inspired and encouraged her with simple acts of love like holding her hand, praying with her, praying for her or by writing about their faith and spirituality.
She shares about how fortunate she's been to have a Christian faith community wherever she's lived and friends who follow through with the nudge to pray with her. Once, when things looked discouraging for her loved one who was getting surgery, Val felt paralyzed by fear. Her pastor visited and asked her to let those who love her be like the friends in the Bible story who carried their paralyzed friend to Jesus to be healed and be able to walk again. Later, after looking at an MRI to prepare for surgery, the doctors found a safe way to operate and the surgery was a success.
Val shares about authors of books she's read that inspired her as a caregiver over a 30 year period. There was something about the way the words came across to Val that just made sense. Or, they offered specific things she could do to make her life more fulfilling and abundant.
CS Lewis inspired her with his books, Mere Christianity and The Four Loves. Richard Foster provided practical ways to practice a life with God in his book, Celebration of Discipline. Maryanne Williamson shared about her insights from A Course in Miracles in her books A Return to Love and From Tears to Triumph. David Hawkins was a medical doctor facing death with he called out to God in prayer and was saved. He is able to explain spiritual things in concrete and scientific ways in the book, Transcending the Levels of Consciousness. Val shares that when she doesn't know what to think about what's going on in this crazy world today, David Brook's opinions encourage her, as does his book, How to Know a Person.
Val finishes this podcast with a story about PAGL, a concept brought to her attention by her friend, which stands for Peace, Assurance, Gratitude and Love. It is a way to existentially validate decision making.
Val shares that even though there are times she's felt alone, she believes we are never really alone and we can encourage one another by reaching out and lifting up each other in prayer.
Hello, and welcome to caregiver tea time.
This is season three, and it's called"Let's Get Spiritual."
Today, I'm going to share with you about my spiritual mentors, people who sit next to me when I need a friend, someone to hold my hand, someone to pray with me; someone who has shared from their heart and shown me how much they care; and people who have inspired me with their writings. A few of them I've seen in person when I was fortunate to hear them speak. There is just something about the way they articulate aspects of life and spirituality it feels as though a light has turned on. I'll leave links to their books on my caregiver tea time website so you can learn more if you're interested.
I do want to emphasize that spiritual messages and beliefs are so very personal. Discernment is the first step. As you listen to my podcast, especially this season on spirituality, I hope you will ask yourself, "Is this message for me? Is this message for this time? If not, just let it go.
Okay! I have some special people to tell you about, so let's get started.
As I shared in the first episode of this season, I am a Christian and I was raised in a Christian household, and I continued to seek out Christian faith communities wherever I've lived. I've been fortunate to find supportive church families and pastors. I appreciate how they followed through on a nudge to be a witness to love and walk along the journey with me. One of my friends even prayed aloud with me before every treatment my loved one received.
I want to share a special hospital experience that I will never forget. My loved one was being prepared for surgery. The surgeon had just left after explaining how dangerous the surgery could be. He was cautious and he made no promises. I wondered if it would be better not to do the surgery at all and just face the progression of the disease. I couldn't even make sense of it. Either way, it felt like a long and difficult road. And all I did was cry.
Right then, I heard a knock at the door. My pastor Mario was there, and I told him of our dilemma. He had brought his Bible and said he wanted to read a passage to me. It told the story of a paralyzed man who was carried on a mat by his friends to see Jesus. They heard that Jesus was teaching nearby and hoped that their friend could be healed and be able to walk again.
When they got there, it was very crowded. So they cut a hole in the roof of the house to lower their friend down into the room where Jesus stood. Then my pastor said to me, "Let us do that for you. Let us be like the friends in this story.
"Let us pray for you and bring you to Jesus."
And it's true, I was paralyzed by worry, and on that day I was blessed by a pastor and a church family who carried me in prayer. And just like the paralyzed man in the story who picked up his mat and walked home, I was able to walk again with courage.
And this story has another good ending. One of the medical team members ordered an MRI so the surgeons had a clearer picture of what to expect. This young doctor knew how much I was worried, and she pulled me aside and showed me the MRI film. She was so excited to point out where the surgeon could find a space to cut and not injure the organs nearby. What amazing support I had. And indeed, the surgery was a success.
Now, I'd like to share about the authors who have inspired me. Over the past 30 years, I've been a caregiver to someone very close to me four times. And that has given me a lot of time to ponder the meaning of life and this universe and everything in it, seen and unseen. And in those 30 years, I've read and listened to a lot of books. There have been a few authors that stand out. There's something about the way the words came across to me that just made sense, or they offered specific things I could do to make my life more fulfilling and abundant when I faced difficult challenges and felt alone.
So today I'll share about C .S. Lewis, Richard Foster, Mary Ann Williamson, David Hawkins, and David Brooks. I'll introduce you to each one and then I hope you'll discover more on your own.
I want to start with C .S. Lewis. He is at the top of my list. He was a British writer and a literary scholar. He's best known as the author of The Chronicles of Narnia, a children's fantasy series. The idea for that series developed when during World War II, children were evacuated from London to the countryside and four children came to live with Lewis at his country estate. People in the city were confined to shelters and they huddled in their homes and they faced life and death every day.
He was asked by the BBC to give broadcast talks over the radio about faith. The First five of these talks were so successful, people wrote in begging for more. These speeches were later compiled into the books, "Mere Christianity and the Four Loves."
Here is one of his quotes. "We want to know whether the universe simply happens to be what it is for no reason, or whether there is a power behind it that makes it what it is. No mere observation of the facts can find the power. There is only one case where we can know whether there is anything more, namely our own case. "
I suppose you could say that what I am doing in this podcast is sharing my own case with you.
The next mentor's book, Celebration of Discipline, gave me direction for spiritual growth. His name is Richard Foster. He's a Christian theologian in the Quaker tradition. He founded Renovare, a non -profit organization that provides resources for a life with God.
For me, even though I know what I want to be doing, I still do things that get in my way. Richard Foster shares how spiritual disciplines can open the door to God and lead us to where we really want to be.
My third mentor is Marianne Williamson. When my son was in the hospital getting his transplant, there was a yoga session offered in the family lounge. I was the only one who showed up, and it was wonderful. The instructor and I were talking, and she asked if I'd ever heard of Marianne Williamson, who gives weekly lectures at a church in New York City. I had not heard of her then, but I was led to attend her lecture that night. I was surprised and impressed and I felt grateful for what she shared.
Her insights are based on A Course in Miracles, a unique spiritual self -study program designed to awaken us to the truth of our oneness with God and love. She shares her story in her books A Return to Love and From Tears to Triumph.
The fourth is David Hawkins. He has an incredible story as an atheist facing death. As the final moment approached, a thought flashed into his mind. But what if there is a God? So he called out in prayer, "If there is a God, I ask him to help me now." When he awoke, he was alive and transformed and has told his story in several of his books.
He does have a lot of books, but a good place to start is with Transcending the Levels of Consciousness. What makes David Hawkins unique is that he's a medical doctor who practiced psychiatry; and he's also a research scientist, so he's able to explain spiritual things in concrete and scientific ways.
The last writer and speaker I want to mention is David Brooks, author of How to Know a Person. He is a New York Times opinion columnist who writes about politics, culture, and what's going on in the world. I first watched him on PBS during the presidential debates, giving his opinion from a conservative point of view. I admire his story and his honesty in telling it. And when I don't know what to think about what's going on in this crazy world, I feel encouraged by his opinions.
I think his book, How to Know a Person is his best," and it has an important message about reaching out and listening and sharing our stories.
I have one more person to tell you about. Nancy is my most recently found spiritual mentor. We met while enjoying live jazz music. Her spiritual background is with metaphysical psychiatry. One day I asked her if she was able to talk about spiritual things with her children. She thought for a moment and said, "Not really," but then she remembered one day that PAGL came up in conversation with her daughter. PAGL, spelled P -A -G -L, is an acronym for peace, assurance, gratitude, and love.
I thought that sounded pretty cool and I asked Nancy to explain it to me. She said it's a way to existentially validate an idea or decision a person is contemplating. It's what happens when we ask for clarity. "Would this outcome bring a sense of peace, assurance, gratitude, and love?" A PAGL answer will be a solution that allows good to unfold for all.
She said there's a learning curve to it and I imagine so. As for me and I'm sure a lot of you, a PAGL answer isn't always obvious right away and we have to wait. But when it does come, you know it's PAGL!
[music]
There still are times when I feel alone and there's no one to see my tears or smile back at me when there's a celebration. In this season of caregiver tea time, I'm sharing with you what I try to do in those alone times, and that is: get spiritual. I believe we are never alone and I feel grateful that the mentors I shared about today support that belief with their own stories.
So today my special message is this:
When someone you know comes to mind, please don't be shy to reach out, and if you don't call, text, or see them in the moment, that's the best time of all to lift up a loving prayer.
Cheers!
Nothing but the good things, nothing but the good things, in this world, living in my heart.
Nothing but the good things, nothing but the good things, in this world, living in my heart, living in my heart.
Caregiver Tea Time was recorded at the Koop Studio, Irvington, New York.
Engineered by Sammy Wags and produced by Bianca Groves.